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    Sunday
    Jun242012

    Commercial Break: Getting Your Ass To Mars

    NASA Jet Propulsion Library in conjunction with California Institute of Technology combine forces. They've managed to make the Mars Science Laboratory wizards words sound transparent and, well, cool. 

    And all we needed was an all-too-similar Inception score with fancy-looking computer generated imagery. One thing is for sure, if my kids are going to be visiting Mars as all-access resort (Total Recall teaches us this*), we're gonna need a 1600 degree Faherenheit-resistant ship. Maybe even a couple jetpacks to ensure a safe landing.

    Other than that, I'd say Mars as a destination for nude tanning and discussions for all things reddish-brown is a safe bet in the next century.

     

     

    *And yes, I have thought about this idea of us, over the years, sending rovers and robots to inspect Mars. Only for said robots and rovers to turn on us, creating their own colony. And thusly, charging us higher rates to stay at their robot resort.
    Thursday
    Jun212012

    Commercial Break -- Top 3 Ways To Be An Idiot

     

    Is there an infograph that proves that our brains are devolving back into the primordial ooze in which we climbed from? Look, I know times are tough and I'm far from a hippie. In that, I'm interested in having systems and infrastructures questioned, but met with newer ideas with tested theory. This argument here, is just, well, you hear this s**t?!

    Are times this bad? Do we really need to bend out logic to humor the -- "not-so-badness" of sweatshops?

    Going by this man's "Theory of Dumb." We could technically commit crime for profit, based on how we feel our lives have turned and society should just be okay with that. 

    C'mon son.

    Wednesday
    Jun132012

    Rochard -- The Rise Of The Effeminate Henchman?

    One man, one woman, and where the f**k is that lisp coming from?!
    So I started writing about games again. I figured with the blossoming flowers and sunny Mid-West days, it would be a great opportunity to avoid all of that, and the humans that come with it. It also doesn’t hurt that I played Rochard whilst getting over food poisoning. Rochard is, and I rarely use this word, weirdly delightful. It’s a little strange and the controls are a bit unwieldy, but this game is worth it. Then there’s the effeminate henchmen.

    Click to read more ...

    Sunday
    Jun102012

    Brometheus

    "Bro, I think I can see my house from here. Can I use this to order pizza?"

    Enough time has passed to where even Harrison Ford jokes about how terrible an archaeologist Indiana Jones would be. Prometheus doesn’t have the advantage of a strong character lead, like Indy does. Prometheus’ edge is its beautiful use of cinematography and art direction, accompanied by a multi-million dollar special effects budget. It’s a shame that Michael Fassbender is, once again, the only quality figure in another summer blockbuster. How creepy is that?

    Click to read more ...

    Friday
    Jun012012

    Commercial Break: Cat Functions As Allegory For New Media

    Tuesday
    May222012

    Commercial Break: Planet Earth's Northern Hemisphere Is Somethin'

     

    My health has been better*. In my stead, enjoy life, anywhere. Like, right now. Perfect time of year to go outside and avoid people, but appreciate that there are things happening thanks to their interference [try and take the positive out of this sentence].

    As one Bart Simpson reminds us, "birds and bees are having sex with each other."

    [the description of what you see above is after the jump]

    Click to read more ...

    Saturday
    May192012

    As I Lay Dying ... From A Salad

    In the event I do survive, this will function as an ill-written eulogy.

    I just received a call from my local Giant Eagle while eating the last couple bites of a salad. Here’s what they said, as I heard it:

    Click to read more ...

    Thursday
    May172012

    Cabin In The Woods -- Great Movie, Or Greatest Movie?

    Wait a minute, a movie that is both funny as it is terrifying? That's gotta be worth watching, right?
    So Cabin In The Woods is the greatest movie of the year. No, I haven’t seen every movie released in previous months. Nor do I intend on seeing any other movies in the future. This is it. The last movie I’ll ever need to watch. It’s only fitting I watched this film after watching The Avengers. There should be some sort of barometer to gauge my tolerance of Whedon/Hemsworth exposure, but luckily this movie functioned as an adequate chaser.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    May152012

    The Avengers -- The Best Movie, For Everyone Else

    If anything, a nation of Mountain Dew drinkers now know what Shawarma is.

    Click to read more ...

    Saturday
    May122012

    Commercial Break: Retro Bobby via Copenhagers

     

    I just watched The Avengers and Cabin In The Woods, back to back -- in that order. It's going to take me a while to process writing down something of logic and cohesion. In the mean time, There's this guy.

    Retro Bobby Ågren's store, Ruben & Bobby, located Jægersborggade 6, Copenhagen. Yup, that's a mouthful. Thanks to the fine folks at Copenhagers for putting a spotlight on Bobby's retro-game-and-toy-shop, that also doubles as a barbershop.

    Also, Bobby's hair is magical.

    In all seriousness, it's good to have these reminders as to why you write. Knowing that there is one guy out there in "Jaegerville" doing what he loves and wearing amazing sweaters to boot, in a way, is pretty darn inspiring.