Vanquish Review -- If Metal Gear And Gears Of War Had A Baby

Much like Sam Gideon's ARG suit, Vanquish is cool to look at, ridiculous to make sense of, and very few people will get it
Vanquish is a game that is just as challenging as it is beautiful. Platinum Games has managed to squeeze out two eccentric gems within one year that not only challenge several constructs of what makes a game fun, but also keeps the non-JRPG aspect of Japanese games on American gamers’ radar. This being said, there are core principals of Vanquish’s design that are unflinchingly Japanese. Recommending a game like this is like recommending someone hold a beautiful rose with the sharpest thorns. You will die several times. You will laugh at what constitutes a cogent narrative. You will blow stuff up for points and realize how something so simple as this, has been abandoned by most modern games. All these things and you get to casually smoke cigarettes.

Though I didn’t find Vanquish to be more entertaining than Platinum Games’ older sister released earlier in 2010, Bayonetta, the game seems to be more digestible than the female-lead witch adventure. In Vanquish you star as, get this, a space marine. Doesn’t get more digestible than that. Okay, so the script reads like a bad Macross episode. You play as Sam [the space marine] Gideon. There is a huge back story as to why the world needs a space station and if you have eyes that can read small font within three seconds of the loading screens, have at it. From what I could gather, over-population has pitted our nations super powers against one another. Avoiding anything too political, Platinum Games decided the major conflict be between the U.S. and Russia -- its just easier that way. A rebel Russian group decides to explode San Francisco with a death ray from space, do I really need to go further about the plot here?

There are plenty of scenes of interesting dialog between Sam and his co-pilot, Elena. And by interesting I mean upskirts and few shots that don't include the woman's ass front and center.

Be that as it may, every major character Sam meets seems to have their own motives and agendas, making aspects of this ridiculous story actually interesting. The only character whom Sam trusts is, oddly enough, the least intriguing. Elena Ivanova is Sam’s space support and though she was born and raised in Russia, her American accent would have you believe otherwise. Sam as one of DARPA’s top agents is the guinea pig for a top-secret weaponized suit called ARS (short for Augemented Reaction Suit).

What you’ll find most-unique about Vanquish lye in the functionality of Sam’s suit. Essentially, you carry one gun with the ability for that one gun to morph into three -- with grenades as your secondary weapons. There are a plethora of guns in Vanquish and the ARG suit essentially maps whatever gun you find in the game to the suit. So when using the D-pad to select a gun don’t expect Sam to reach into a holster or into his leg (Robocop-style) -- the one gun he carries changes according to what you want to use. This makes switching weapons on the fly one of the more functional motions in a third-person action game. Though the cover-based mechanics may have been inspired by Gears Of War, sliding into cover in the ARG suit is a new kind of enjoyment unique to this Vanquish.

Protip: Think strategy with your weapons. The less weapons you use, the easier it is to power them up to use them later. Pick an assault rifle to keep enemies at bay and build up your more powerful weapons for the eventual boss fights.
This shiny and oddly sculpted world Sam inhabits feels as precise and technical as the controls. Fighting off Russian robots is a past-time I support, but after you realize the makers of this game are the same people who gave you God Hand this world will, no doubt, begin to dull in the eyes of someone who consistently dies, several times, around the same choke points of a mission.

The world of Vanquish is beautiful. Just when you think the mechanical structures of grays and whites is becoming ‘a bit much’ they throw you into the wilderness. When the pace of running into a room with an overabundance of cover-based objects seems to be one mission too many, the designers plug in an on-rails vehicle mission. There are great ideas in Vanquish, but the difficulty in the game isn’t as funny as it seems they wanted it to be. Making fun of a Gears of War-style shooter while poking fun at Metal Gear Solid’s plot and characters is something I’m all for, just don’t stumble this much while executing.

Meet Lt. Burns, he's the heavy handed comment on the wrecklessness of most male characters in American-based action video gamesThe Achilles heel of Vanquish is what the game is not-so-subtly commenting on in regards to East and Western-style game design. Being a fan of Shinji Mikami means being a fan of the mans quirks. He clearly doesn’t care about how difficult his games are to the wider gaming audience. Anyone who bought Vanquish, knowing he made it, is already in on the joke. Games are too easy. This supposed era of serious/realistic plots have, in some ways, degraded actual gameplay quality. When a game like Vanquish comes along with all of the cheese and goofball antics of an 80s action movie its easy to blow it off. “That’s so Japanese of them.” Yes, yes it is.

Vanquish is plagued with a long list of enemies that can kill Sam with one attack. There is also the standard level design of: dispatching smaller enemies before heading into a large room to face overpowered bosses, usually they will have spider-like features, usually those spider-like limbs will be glowing and begging for you to shoot at them first. Rinse and repeat.

Protip: Spend most of your time in cover and picking off collectibles. There are trophies and achievements for this. That and the game will kill you several times over if you spend most of your time running and gunning.
Though Vanquish may be commenting on current trends in gaming as well as political issues between nations, the flaws of this game become less-endearing after every nonsensical death. The attempt at branching out to a mainstream audience whilst making fun of what said audience is attracted to left me more tired than entertained. The ending credit sequence of Vanquish was more entertaining than the latter half of Sam’s story. I have to give it to Platinum Games and Mr. Mikami. Vanquish is a jaw dropping masterpiece, but having so much to say about a variety of topics needs to be backed up with a game that has something to say for itself.

I give Vanquish …

Sweet hell, why would they give it that hideous head?

The “Japanese & American Engineers Need To Come Together On This Whole Robot Baby Thing” Award