Watchmen: Makes Me Partially Eat Crow

I'm Blue, daboodeedahboodah

Before this review starts you need perspective. Yes, I did read the graphic novel. No, I was not excited to hear about this movie post reading the graphic novel. Yes, I was less excited after seeing a CGI-filled trailer, which was an obvious ploy to get your little rumps in the seats. No, this movie is not perfect. Aside from its obvious spawn from the mind of Alan Moore and the pen of Dave Gibbons, Watchmen has quite the rich history. This movie has moved back and forth from studios, has suffered rewrites after rewrites and now it has finally arrived. With all of its flaws.

Zack Snyder, director of this and a lesser graphic novel-based film 300, has reigned in his, what I would call, "Snyder-isms". Though still apparent, Snyder's "Everything looks cool in slow motion" touch does apply in most of the feature, but does annoy in small slits of what could otherwise be called rhythmic scenes. Snyder has done everything he could possibly do in order to translate one of the most revered graphic novels into a 2-hour and 40 minute action/drama. By the by, much like the ending to the Dark Knight, this movie feels long. This is both a strength and detrimental. Throughout Watchmen, you get the since that Snyder wants it both ways. He wants to make an action movie with well developed characters, but in order to translate the graphic novel icons; he must dance on the line of having the back story feel rushed in one sense [Night Owl] and linger a bit too long on others [Dr. Manhattan & The Comedian]. The story is uneven, but it covers so many important issues relavant today. Unfortunately, the plot has a 'jack-of-all-trades' feel and a master of never trully fleshing anything out.

During the opening credits, I could hear nerds sigh aloud when Snyder decided to run through the entire history of the Minutemen prior to seeing the big bold "Watchmen" letters scroll across the screen. Initially, this irked me too, but as a fan you have to decide what conventions to buy. The only way this movie works is if you, the viewer, are willing to go along for this post-apocalyptic ride. Even if you do not want to, Watchmen forces the viewers mind to think.

The end result, kind of works. Why? The cast. The viewer is genuinely interested in following Rorschach. You want to unravel why Silk Specter chooses the oddest men to get involved with. Furthermore, why does Dr. Manhattan feel so alone when clearly prancing around with a nude, above average physique should garner a modicum of attention. This cast: Malin Akerman [Silk Specter II], Billy Crudup [Dr. Manhattan], Matthew Goode [Ozymandias], Patrick Wilson [Night Owl II], Walter Kovacs [Rorschach] and my very public school boy crush, Carla Gugino [Silk Specter] all have their due. It is very rare to see a story narrated in a way where the viewer gets the sense that each character, be them painted as the 'good guy' or the 'bad guy', is painted this way for a semi-logical reason.

The story, true to the novel, spans the early 50's to 1985. Unfortunately, just in case this was a mechanic of narrative you were not privy too, Zack Snyder and his Hendrix-Dylan-80's new wave music button was more than likely pushed one time too many. It really is quite unfortunate, there are scenes of utter brilliance in this movie and before I could get the last Dr. Manhattan line processed through my cortex...ahh yes...there it is..."All Along The Watchtower", because this scene I am watching based off of a comic book is not weird enough; you had to throw that in the mix. It does stand to reason, the book is heavily influenced by music.  How this translates to the screen? Hit and miss.

The biggest knock against this movie would have to be how many ways one can perceive its grand finale. The story starts off with you the viewer trying to identify with a troubled superher...sorry 'masked vigilante' in Rorschach. Rorschach clearly gives the best performance in the movie [sorry Dr. Manhattan fans] there is something there that comic book writers and filmmaker alike have been trying to execute for decades...subtle nuance. Walter Kovacs', "Rorschach", is this year's Joker. The movie takes a fairly obvious turn. Leading to an even more obvious reveal, one that even those who DIDN'T read the graphic novel would be able to predict. The movie then takes you to several places, where at 2-hours plus, you may want this story to 'get to it'. The conclusion is something of lore in graphic-novel-land, but I am still wondering how it will be received to viewers uninitiated. It ends...how it ends.

The Watchmen is based off an adult, graphic novel. Finally! There has been a movie based off of some fantastical, but well written story made for adults. I repeat, this is for adults! There are moments where you forget this is based off of a comic. Those moments are immediately followed by, what can only be described as Alan Moore's middle finger. The Watchmen was not meant to be on the big screen. It DOES work better as a graphic novel, but as a movie taking the 'gist' of the practically gold-embossed novel...it does a pretty decent job. Watchmen's biggest anchor is that Snyder was so bent on staying true to the source, that translating some of the raw script to screen proves to be: confusing, intriguing, and sometimes incoherent.

With this, I grab my knife and fork and look at the yellow and black crow in front of me. Coming in with low expectations has helped with the digestion of this movie, but one can only hope these kind of adult-fiction tales, be they based off of superheroes or not, will only get better.

I give the Watchmen...

The "Movie That Makes You Feel Like You're In The Movie" Award

You'll like it if you like both complex stories and action. You will not like it if you only glom to one of the two.